Friday, February 27, 2009

Tales of the Tiny Alien Episode 4 - Community!

When we last left our Tiny Alien, he had joined a society of Green Gentlemen that would have been secret except that they were all really big hearted on the inside so they didn't bother with hiding themselves much. At their recommendation, he had gone to visit the Indie Oracle, but in his excitement had uttered his standard request instead of the secret passcode that would have gotten him a pronouncement. When faced with the choice of Trick or Treat or Else, the Oracle had chosen "Trick". Now there was going to be Trouble of one sort of another since the Oracle insisted that the Tiny Alien meet her brother. . . . 

The Oracle smiled and pointed to the side of the door where her brother leaned. The Tiny Alien immediately sensed all was not nearly as normal as things would appear. Mostly because it was very hard to keep the brother in his view even though the boy in question was not moving. On the other hand, The Oracle herself was impressively THERE. The Tiny Alien very much doubted that a black hole could move her off the spot she was on,  unless she wanted to travel through a wormhole. He quickly ran through his series of Tricks and settled on slow motion. He pointed his ray gun and announced "OK Trick!" and let the slow motion ray wash over them. 

The Oracle seemed to be slowing down, since she was smirking very slowly, but the brother tapped the Tiny Alien on the shoulder.  He had a quizzical look on his face "You sure?" The brother shrugged, and then went to shake his sister's shoulder a little bit and she shook off the effects of the ray gun. That effect should have lasted a full hour! 

The boy looked like he should be hanging out with a garage band somewhere, but other than that there was nothing really different about him compared to all the other local inhabitants, who were admittedly all very different from each other. Just to be sure, the Tiny Alien checked that the boy's feet touched the ground. They did. Hurumph, no answers there. 

The boy disappeared in front of him again. This was very frustrating! The Oracle appeared to be gloating a little bit, "I tried to warn you, you should probably avoid Tricks that involve space, time or gravity when he's here."

"He's not here now," scowled the Tiny Alien. 

"Yes he is he's right to your left. Now that he's gotten older he hardly ever wears orange anymore so we really have to work at finding him when he's infront of us. The most important thing to remember is that he's always where he is supposed to be. And how about you?"


"Where are you supposed to be?

"Wherever I want!" stormed the Tiny Alien.

"Oh," stated the brother. "I'll help." And he would have disappeared except the brother seemed to have been missing in the first place.

The Oracle seemed suddenly grumpy.  "I hope you're ready for help. He's very helpful. You don't really need anything dangerous do you? All the definitions get wavy when he helps. He's right off the charts with that you know." 

The Tiny Alien suddenly got a very very cold feeling in his alien approximation of an esophagus. Clarity descended on his flustered brain cells. A deep and overwhelming desire for carbonation and world balance overtook him and he whispered. "Could you please make me, an egg cream like your mother used to make. And then could you tell me what an egg cream is?'

"Oh dear, now you're really in trouble aren't you." The Oracle turned to the fountain array behind her. "Do you want the egg cream with or without the political metaphor?"

"Without please. I think metaphors might cause me indigestion." The Tiny Alien watched as the Oracle started moving things around, pulling out specially shaped triangular paper cups, opening up secret compartments holding brown jars with yellow labels. He didn't hear the rustling behind him. Or the filling of the barrel, or the disruption in the time/space continum so when the brother tapped him on the shoulder he was once again very startled. 

The brother smiled a ninja-fae smile - "These are the Jacko's, they brought some apples. They'll help."

And lo, there were four robed gentlemen, obviously practitioners of the Honorable Arts. Their Orange faces grinning. The tallest of them greeted the Tiny Alien with the ritual phrase: "Wow cool mask. Do you want to bob for apples?" and the smallest said, "It should be mostly safe, we brought the apples, but the Alex found the water. That might be a bit Tricky."

And the Oracle stirred the eggcream and studied the pattern of the chocolate syrup against the edges of the glass, and declared "Well, it seems if you bob for apples, you'll find out where you want to be. Of course that's according to the eggcream and eggcream predictions are more a part of my brother's playground than mine. It looks kind of tricky to me too."

The apples in the barrel were perfect and granny smith green. They were crisp and cool and surrounded by appropriately spooky orange faces, and the brother seemed so perfectly Almost There that for a moment the Tiny Alien thought the time of Trick or Treating had come early to the Land of Tiny Doors. 

He made his way slowly to the head of the barrelbucket . . . . 

Will the Tiny Alien find out where he wants to be? Is bobbing for apples with Jackos dangerous? Where did the Alex get the water from? What's an Alex? The answer to these and other questions in our next episode of Tales of the Tiny Alien . . . 

Monday, February 23, 2009

A Small Delay and A Slight Side Trip

I have just completed my yearly foray into Time Travel. Time Travel is exhausting and this excursion has made me think very deeply about how to move forward in the future. However,  it has also delayed the coherent execution of the Tales of the Tiny Alien, which will be Continuing Soon.

So if you are going through Tiny Alien withdrawal, please be patient, Crash is driving my energy back home as fast as he can.

For your entertainment, and proof that I am still alive, I humbly submit a Wordle for Dreamtime Drinne, if you click on it it should take you to the larger version on

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Tales of the Tiny Alien Episode 3 - Progress?

When we last left our Tiny Alien he was considering taking roast beast from strangers, after successfully getting something that he could technically quantify as a Treat. Still he was looking to see if the Green Gentleman was actually some sort of Trick. 
Our story continues. . . .

The Green Gentleman introduced himself as a member of Who's Who. The Tiny Alien found that he had once declared an all out war on the local holiday currently being celebrated. To hear the gentleman tell it, the sonic effects of the choral singing traditional to the holiday were enhanced by the particular sonic frequencies of one Cynthia Louisa Who, which cured a congenital heart condition by stimulating it's growth. It seems that the Green Gentleman's four chambered heart was a third of the size Green Gentleman are supposed to have. Much like the Tiny Alien, he was pretty cranky at the time, and really had some rather nefarious plans, which seemed a lot like Trick or Treating but without asking. There was of course no Honor in such a course of action. The Green Gentleman agreed, but admitted that he really didn't see it that way until his miracle cure. The Tiny Alien accepted the invitation to come over for some roast beast and try to figure out what to do next. They were joined by another local who was a green amphibian and quiet poetic about it.

As they sat over their beautifully carved roast beast, they spoke to each other for a while about how best to be true to their own natures. The Green Gentleman admitted that it was still in hs nature to run around and startle people with grandiose schemes and then smile disconcertingly and say "Just Kidding." The Amphibian admitted that he was a wee bit t0o pragmatic and perhaps a bit of a perfectionist, so he was always trying to help others get projects underway but sort of freaking out when it got close to deadlines or something interfered with the ability to complete his task. The Tiny Alien admitted that while the Honorable Act of Trick or Treating was important, he was pretty sure that there were other things to do and see. The Amphibian and the Green Gentleman took the opportunity to explain that the holiday being celebrated was a time of brightening up the darker days caused by the planet's rotation around the earth and that locally it was celebrated by singing, food and the exchange of presents.

A brief analysis on the Tiny Alien's part indicated that the primary differences were that Treats were exchanged without Tricks, only some people wore costumes, and that choirs singing "whahoowarry" could cause spontaneous heart expansion. It seemed nice enough and he certainly enjoyed the roast beast, but the Amphibian pointed out that perhaps dedicating one's life to the pursuit of a single holiday wasn't necessarily the best way to pursue that holiday. He suggested a kind of journey to find out where the Tiny Alien belonged. Not that the Tiny Alien didn't belong here of course. There were all kinds of people in the neighborhood. The Green Gentlemen suggested that one of the people in the neighborhood was an Oracle, or an indie record store owner which was just as good. He was fairly sure that she would know how to help the Tiny Alien figure out what to do next. All the Tiny Alien would have to do is go to the corner store and ask her for an egg cream like her mother used to make, then either she or her brother would probably ask all sorts of interesting questions and tell the Tiny Alien all sorts of interesting things. If the things were interesting enough, she might want to meddle and if she wanted to meddle then the Tiny Alien was sure to have all sorts of interesting adventures after that. If nothing else it would at least kill some time for him until it was Time for Trick or Treating in the land of Tiny Doors.

It did seem to be more of a long term plan than the Tiny Alien had on his own. Also the Green Gentleman explained that the upcoming holiday would arrive with or without bells, whistles, packages and bows, so he would be able to partake of the festivities no matter what (he was however warned about the dangers of unexpected heart expansion.)

The three compatriots agreed to meet again and support each other in the experience of being green in a world where most of the inhabitants were not. One for all and all for one; and that sort of mildly plagiarized thing. The Tiny Alien stayed overnight and left to follow the  instructions promptly at lunchtime the next day. He got to the window and saw the Indie Record Store Oracle serving fountain drinks through it. He drew himself up to his full height and prepared to introduce himself, but the force of habit overtook him and he announced "Trick or Treat, or Else!" instead.

He would have been mortified if he were built that way, but he wasn't, so he was belligerent instead. Having once committed to the act, he threw the full force of his action behind it. The Indie Oracle however smiled a quirky little smile and said "Well if you're going to be that way about it, we'll have to go with Trick, but first let me introduce you to my little brother."

The Tiny Alien suddenly felt a tiny bit apprehensive, the brother looked normal enough but there seemed to be a small problem with the laws of physics in his general vicinity . . . . .

What has the Tiny Alien gotten himself into? Is the Oracle setting him up? What is an eggcream anyway? Was it cosmically significant? The answer to these and other questions will be in the next episode o Tales of The Tiny Alien . . . .

Friday, February 6, 2009

Tales of the Tiny Alien Episode 2

When last we left our Tiny Alien, he had travelled through much in order to Dominate Trick or Treating in a Land of Tiny Doors. After calling out the hallowed phrase "Trick or Treat or Else!" a flustered inhabitant offered to find him some "Else". Our story continues . . . .

"Else" apparently ended up being Hot Cocoa, a strange brown drink that did not seem much like a trick and wasn't practical to put in a bag so it most likely wouldn't count as a treat. The Tiny Alien agreed with the inhabitant that this qualified as "Else" and lowered his ray gun to ask what he should do with it. The inhabitant suggested they indulge in the local custom of "hanging out on the stoop". This apparently involved sitting on the steps watching locals go by and discussing life. The inhabitant admitted that drinking Cocoa while doing this was a personal twist of his own.

The first cup of Cocoa was sipped in silence. Apparently the inhabitant had servants or tribesmen behind the door because someone came out who took the empty cups and replaced them with new full cups. These cups had marshmallows floating in them which made the Tiny Alien feel better since it is well known that marshmallows were involved in Treats. As the first cup was slowly sipped the Tiny Alien watched the locals go by. They were green, purple, pinky beige, blue, the same color as the cocoa, jet black and shiny, fuzzy, fluffy, smooth and bumpy, frankly he'd seen cantina's with less variety. It was also very busy, but no one was Trick or Treating.

"What are they all doing?" The Tiny Alien muttered to no one in particular.

"Well, mostly they are going to and from their homes." The inhabitant rearranged his robes, so that there was a little extra padding to sit on. The Tiny Alien stared intently at the inhabitant.

The Tiny Alien took terrible offense. "I have no intention of going anywhere called Home!" started brandishing his ray gun in order to underscore the point. He was very careful not to spill the Cocoa though, because it would be a terrible waste of marshmallows.

"I'm terribly sorry." The inhabitant moved his Cocoa out of the way of the ray gun placing it on the long flat bannisterish part of the stoop.

"OK then," grumped the Tiny Alien, settling back on the steps. He explained that as tiny, Tiny Alien, he was constantly being told how wonderful it was to find one's place in the universe and settle down and become a productive member of society. He then went on to explain how such speeches gave him a great deal of indigestion since they always seemed to be to the benefit of beings who stayed in one place and didn't have much to offer for beings who wanted to See New Things.

The inhabitant admitted that his job had him frequently Seeing New Things and Meeting Interesting People, but it was nice to be able to have a place to keep one's paperwork. This was how the Tiny Alien discovered that almost everyone he was seeing was from Someplace Else. And very quietly inside the Tiny Alien something clicked into place. The something was a bit like the opposite of homesickness and not quite the same as wanderlust. The inhabitant, while obviously not a native, had found a sort of portable Home Base. That was not what the Tiny Alien wanted but he knew he wanted something . He also knew that whatever it was that he wanted it was certainly NOT to go Home. He pressed his host for more Trick or Treating information.

The inhabitant explained that they were in the middle of a holiday where people give gifts and he could try knocking on doors to see if that worked. After all it had scored him his third cup of Cocoa and more marshmallows, so the strategy while not perfect, was proven. A little more conversation proved out that Trick or Treating did indeed happen in the neighborhood but it was next scheduled for ten months. The Tiny Alien became very cranky indeed and grabbed his bag tightly and watched the blinking lights on his ray gun with great intensity.

The inhabitant mentioned that a gentleman who had experienced a great deal of spiritual growth was the expert to consult about local holidays. He provided the Tiny Alien with a slip of paper he called an "Address" and showed him the direction of an alley full of perfectly proper doors where this "Address" was before disappearing behind his own door. Unfortunately, the Tiny Alien never learned the numeric system for the local language and had to knock on numerous doors asking "Is the green gentleman with the dog home?" instead of "Trick or Treat". On the bright side all of the doors had beings behind them. On the dark side, he had forgotten the green gentleman's name. He kept getting distracted by the possible Trick or Treating potential. Thus, when tapped on the shoulder he was unprepared and startled.

He whipped his ray gun around and growled a bit, turning to face a being of the bipedal, green and fuzzy variety, grinning from ear to tiny ear. "Excuse me," the being scoffed, "I believe that you are looking for me, and I assure you, that I am equally agressive when startled, but these are kindler gentler times my friend, and I would like to invite you to join me while I carve some roast beast . . ." The fuzzy green being wiggled predatory eyebrows at the Tiny Alien, grinning a slightly twisted grin. "Surely you trust me . . . ."

Does the Tiny Alien trust him? Does carved roast beast count as a Treat? What is the something that clicked and is it dangerous? The answer to these and other questions may show up in out next Episode of Tales of the Tiny Alien . . . .

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Tales of the Tiny Alien Episode 1

It had taken months to get where he was going. There were numerous delays, no hierarchy whatsoever, technical difficulties, all sorts of linguistics issues, but none of that would stop the Tiny Alien from accomplishing his mission; Total Domination of Trick or Treating!

He had heard rumors of a world with tiny alien sized doors, that held tiny alien size candy bars. This was his goal. There is no honor in filling up your bag with human sized candy since it doesn't take more than one piece to do it, but this  . . . . this was a challenge. 

He manipulated his chain of command to get assigned to the proper spacecraft, skulked and hid and pushed other Tiny Aliens out infront of him, volunteering them for other destinations just so that he could make it to that world of Tiny Doors. There was a great deal of turbulence in the two month's travel, his pod sustained some light damage on the way. He did not believe that there was actual enemy action, but he and his ray gun were prepared for it if they were. 

Finally he and all his equipment arrived in the proper orbit and he circled around, scouting the location with an exhaled sigh of relief. "Whew!"

Unfortunately, this drew the attention of a rather large entity who thought the Tiny Alien was reporting for duty. The Tiny Alien mightily drew himself up to his full height and aimed his weaponry, meeting the fearsome entity directly. It immediately bared it's teeth and made high pitched noises. It took the translation device about a week to get enough local information to translate the noises into the following statement "Omygod, you are SOOO adorable."

This made the Tiny Alien very cranky once he understood it. Of course, he might also have been cranky because his new position in this planetary activity was apparently to wait inside a squarish green pod to be activated for another command. It was cushy inside with lots of amenities but the Tiny Alien wanted to be Out and Doing Things and most importantly Trick or Treating.  Like all warriors in worlds and universes everywhere, he was forced to hurry up and wait. 

And then the day came. He was released from the pod. Drawing himself up to his full height he introduced himself to his new commander who understood immediately the deep and unfilled need of the Tiny Alien. His commander put him down infront of a perfectly proper tiny door and the Tiny Alien stood bag and raygun at the ready. His heart pounded, the alien equivalent of adrenaline rushing through the alien equivalent of his ears. The bell was rung.  The door was answered and the Joyous Call was shouted menacingly  . . . . . "Trick or Treat or Else!" 

"Oh dear," was the response. "I'm afraid this is a completely different holiday . . . .  I can try to find some 'else' "

Will the Tiny Alien be cranky enough to use his Ray Gun? What is "Else" and does it involve candy?  Are there other doors to ring?  Join us for the Next Episode of Tales of the Tiny Alien and Find Out!

Sunday, February 1, 2009

But First, A Word From Our Sponsor

The Indie Shop Owners

There are other inhabitants in the Sesame Street neighborhood. Of course like any good area that is a target for re-gentrification , it is also haven of cheap rents for young artsy types. Alex and Cait have moved into the neighborhood with a love of odd things, loud music, manga and anime, they are looking to open a music/book shop in the area. Please feel free to let them know what titles you think they should be carrying.

You might have noticed that Cait and Alex are Not-Poppets. This is very true. The Ambassador noticed this too. The same way that Oscar and Big Bird noticed that they are not birds or grouches. They invited the Ambassador over for sushi. He was very flattered that they moved to the neighborhood because of his plans for the block.

This is the Dreamtime where you are always the size you need to be. For those of you who might wonder how Cait and Alex got that way because you know them here in the Meatworld, you can see how they had the help of the Sourceress Stacy who transforms one thing into another.

If you aren't familiar with the Meatworld and you wonder what type of  Sourceress Stacy is you can check her sources for Cait and Alex on your very own. Do not doubt the power of the Source.

These are the Not-Poppets you may have heard of in the Taunting. You will hear from them again. Now, on with the show . . . .