I am overwhelmed by what I do not know.
Sometimes in the most literal sense.
As of this morning you could not see this path. It is a path I am responsible for, yet here you can see it and this morning you could not. This picture was not so very long ago. Two Moons and fifteen thunderstorms ago. It has been overgrown by Mountain Laurel, in the blink of rain soaked eye.
What I did not know about growth overtook me even as I took joy in the entropy of irises.
If I am not careful my planned entropy will overwhelm my order, and then there will be no irisies, entropic or otherwise.
I grew up around concrete. There were trees that were placed to perfection every 500 feet where you walked carefully and avoided stepping on cracks out of respect for your mother's bodily integrity. But growth is ordered to it's own plan, and so concrete met entropy when I was young and roots raised the concrete and branches brushed the buildings. The trees were stronger than the sidewalk.
Inexorable branches and roots claiming my city. Declaring that some day there will only be brownstones and trees, and if you let them, the trees will claim dominance. You only get to have order if you maintain it. If you want to maintain it, then you need to know the nature of both trees and concrete.
I know concrete well. Trees and grass and flowers, I love them but still do not know their nature outside of books.
It would be lovely to be the kind of person who breathes with the grass and the flowers and the cycle of seasons.
But I am not that person and I am not willing to be the person who does only what's needed. I know the concrete and I know it's relation to the trees. Out of respect for both, and the desire for beauty, I did what I do know best, and called the people who love green things and know their souls.
They've been here before and helped me take a step closer to knowing, but I lost the path.
It was covered in ways I never expected were possible. The Foreman will bring my path back and try to teach me not to lose it. It's not a battle you know, it's a dance.
I was in over my head I had to call in a Dancemaster.
I'll have my flowers and my bricks all balanced out soon. The Foreman will help me keep the entropy in check. I wish I were the kind of person that didn't need him, but he loves the plants with his whole being. I can see it when we talk about them, when we walk around the house address each one and it's place at the House. At least I am kind of person that makes sure to bring someone like him to the Ball.
Maybe he'll teach me some more and next year I'll need him a little bit less, but this year he is a gift to the things that grow around the House and therefore a gift to those that grow inside.